They arrived with broken hearts, and then healing begins.
Every six months, 100 Christian widows from villages in northern Nigeria are invited to a secure region in southern Nigeria, where highly trained staff provide spiritual and emotional counselling to help them recover from the trauma of persecution. Most of the women lost their husbands in Islamist attacks.
Regina’s husband, Danbaki, was a Nigerian missionary who moved his family to a remote area in the northwestern part of the country to preach the gospel. On 14 June 2022, Islamic militants attacked their village and murdered a dozen people. Regina and her family were captured as they tried to run away. When the militants questioned Danbaki, he told them that he was a missionary, even though he knew they might kill him for his Christian work. As he pleaded for mercy and committed himself to God, the Islamists shot him to death in front of Regina. Then they beat her and her two-year-old son, Joshua, whom she was carrying on her back. Although they survived, Regina has been grieving the loss of her husband ever since his murder. She has three children, the oldest of which is 10.
“Anytime I remember, it is so painful,” Regina said. “Even when you forgive, it is not easy to forget. God is still working on my heart.
Some struggle to survive, wondering if God cares.
With no formal education or employable skills, many Nigerian women struggle to feed their families after their husbands die. Although a deceased husband’s family is culturally expected to care for a son’s widow, the family sometimes refuses to care for Christian widows, especially those who have left Islam to follow Christ. In their desperate state, widows become vulnerable to sexual exploitation, which causes great distress and lasting shame.
“Life has not been easy for me. I could not hold up myself. I could not feed the children.” Chundung
Chundung’s husband, David, was killed on 7 September 2001, in Jos, Nigeria. While walking to the bank that day to collect his salary, he was caught up in fighting between Muslims and Christians, but Chundung doesn’t know specifically how he was killed. Twenty other people from their church were also killed that day. David’s body was never found, so the family never had the opportunity to hold a funeral for him. Chundung was left to raise their four children on her own.
“Many widows are forced into prostitution.” Rebeccah
Rebeccah’s husband was shot to death by Boko Haram militants as he walked to church one day in 2014. At the time, Rebeccah was pregnant with their fifth child. The militants destroyed Rebeccah’s entire village in the attack, and she didn’t know what had happened to her husband until three days later, when she discovered his body in a morgue. Rebeccah said her faith has wavered since her husband’s murder, as she has struggled to provide for her children. But now, after receiving months of instruction from God’s Word and after processing her pain with other Christians, her faith has been restored.
As the Nigerian widows receive encouragement and support through God’s Word and the body of Christ, they find hope and learn to forgive.
For three months, our Nigerian sisters study God’s Word to learn more about His character and how much He loves them. They spend time reflecting on biblical truth and whether they are living according to that truth. Through this careful study of Scripture, the Holy Spirit brings transformation to their lives, including the ability to forgive their persecutors.
“I never thought I would ever forgive Boko Haram, but I did. I have not only forgiven them, but I love them.” Ruth
Boko Haram attacked Ruth’s village, Gowza, in 2013, killing several hundred people and burning many homes and buildings including that of her church. She said the militants were angry because Muslims in Gowza had been turning to faith in Christ. Ruth’s family — including six children ranging in age from 2 to 16 — survived the attack and then walked for 17 days to reach safety in Cameroon. But her husband, Luka, was never the same after the ordeal, and Ruth believes lingering effects of the attack ultimately led to his death in 2021. As Ruth has learned biblical approaches to forgiveness and seen the change in other women in the programme, she has been able to let go of her own pain.
Asabe was raised in a Muslim family, but after placing her faith in Christ, she married a Christian named Yakuba. In 2020, Boko Haram bombed their village, and Yakuba was killed in the attack. After Yakuba’s death, his Muslim brother threw Asabe and her child out of their home.
“I learned forgiveness toward everyone who has hurt me,” Asabe said.
Overcoming grief and fear, the widows begin to tell others the Good News that has changed their lives.
After receiving biblical training as well as emotional and spiritual counselling from full-time staff, these courageous women go out in groups to tell others about their renewed hope and the source of their joy. Some return to their home villages with new skills and even tools, such as sewing machines, to help them provide for their children and serve as evangelists in their communities.
“I want people to know that God is a merciful God,” Gwom said. “He knows us and our destiny. He does things in a way that man cannot understand unless you give your life to Him.” Gwom
Gwom’s husband, a pastor, was killed on 3 May 2015, after he and several other men travelled to a neighbouring village to help victims of an attack by militant Fulani Muslims. The men travelling with Gwom’s husband, as well as 17 men from the village, were murdered, presumably by the militants. Gwom doesn’t know how her husband died or where he is buried, but today she wants others to know the God who has restored her soul.
“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction.” James 1:27 (ESV)
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