When Death Waits at the Door

Pastor Karwan and his wife both know that Islamists are less likely to kill a woman than a man in Iraqi culture. So when they hear a knock at the door, Karwan’s wife nearly always answers. “In our home,” he explained, “every moment we are waiting for someone to come and kill me. There is no moment in my life without this waiting.”

The hostility against Karwan, often expressed by a blunt “We will kill you” message on social media, is a response to his online outreach to the country’s overwhelmingly Muslim population. Numerous Muslims have come to know Christ through his website, and many others are clearly unhappy about it.

But the constant danger is a reality for many Christians in Iraq, especially those who have left Islam to follow Christ. Karwan was raised as a fervent Muslim, following a strict interpretation of Islam that closely complies with sharia or Islamic law. He never missed a prayer time and was a regular fixture in his local mosque.

“I was very radical,” he said. “I asked Allah to use me to share Islam among Christian kafirs [a derogatory term for non-Muslims]. I had a plan to go to Europe and the US to share Islam. I had an idea to go to jihad.”

Karwan said his passion for ‘holy war’ at that time was similar to that of Muslim extremists like the self-proclaimed Islamic State (ISIS), a group that has killed countless numbers of Christians in Iraq and other parts of the world. “Jihad is killing people for God and to kill yourself in the fighting,” he said. “This is a jihad.”

Though a zealous Muslim as a teen, Karwan posed questions about Allah as a university student that none of his Koranic teachers would attempt to answer. “In Islam, it is very dangerous to ask about [Allah],” he said. “People say you are not good if you ask about [Allah].”

Karwan was tormented with questions. He scoured the internet and his university library seeking answers, even researching Hinduism, Buddhism, and the Persian religion of Zoroastrianism.

Then he began to read the New Testament, and a sense of peace started to fill his heart. “At that time,” he said, “I didn’t know the source of this peace. But now I know this is from the Holy Spirit.”

With no guidance or encouragement from another Christian, Karwan placed his faith in Christ. As soon as he did, he began to tell his friends and family. Some thought he was mad, while others became enraged.

“They started a fire to burn my books,” he said, “especially my Arabic Bible.” Karwan cut one Bible into pieces so he could hide it more easily. He still has, and treasures, that disassembled Bible that escaped their searches.

Although Karwan’s family tried to force him to return to Islam, he continued to study God’s Word and tell others about his new faith. He said his family felt deeply ashamed because of his refusal to return to Islam.

Then, one day the local security chief summoned Karwan for a talk. “Why are you living here?” the official asked. “You know radicals are planning to kill you. One day, they will kill you.”

Seeing the wisdom of the man’s warning, Karwan reluctantly decided to leave his hometown. After moving, however, he resumed his practice of witnessing to Christ and building up his faith. As he studied the Bible through a correspondence course, he felt the Lord leading him to start a church. “I saw a vision,” he said. “I was around graves in my dream, and I hit graves and people came out.”

Most of the people who have become followers of Christ through Karwan’s ministry are former Muslims who rejected Islam in search of the true God, who comforts souls. Many have been baptised, and his church has grown to more than 100 members.

Local officials, however, have closed Karwan’s church several times. Radical Muslims regularly send him abusive and threatening messages through the internet. He said a typical warning is, “If I knew where you lived, I would come [and] kill you.” Someone once hacked into the church’s website, deleted all the contacts and conversations, and posted a large image of the ISIS flag.

But the greatest threats church members receive are from enraged family members; several church members now live in hiding for fear of their own families. One woman told Karwan that if her family ever finds her they will burn her to death.

In the summer of 2023, a friend of Karwan named Youssef was killed for his faith. When some of Youssef’s Muslim friends learned of his decision to follow Christ, they gave him 24 hours to recant. They allowed him one phone call, which he used to speak with Karwan. During their conversation, Youssef told Karwan that he was determined to stand firm in his Christian faith and that he planned to share the gospel with his captors.

“He was my friend,” Karwan said in a voice choked with grief. “The radicals, they killed him.” After Youssef was murdered, Karwan reconsidered his pastoral calling. “I was thinking maybe the same thing would happen to me because we are not far from that place,” he recalled. In addition to threats, Karwan’s family faces daily rejections and smaller persecutions that are also painful.

“I remember,” Karwan said, “when my children said their friends said to them, ‘You are dirty; you are very bad because you are Christian.’ They came home and asked, ‘Are we dirty?’” With tears in his eyes, Karwan recalled how he told his children, “No, in God’s eyes we are clean.”

Regardless of the pressures that he, his family, and his congregation face, Karwan is determined to share the gospel. He regularly reminds his church members of Christ’s example. “They were looking to kill [Christ],” Karwan said. “We are not higher than our teacher. If He died, if He was executed, of course, it will happen for us. It is normal.”

Requesting prayer for the encouragement and protection of his family and church members, Karwan said he would not stop proclaiming the truth of Christ.

“Even if I am sure that we will die,” he said, “it doesn’t matter. We are like soldiers for Jesus Christ. This is our responsibility in this body, to share the gospel. This is the day. Let’s work and let’s share God’s kingdom.”